One of the things I have
embraced over the past couple of years is the concept of the “hard conversation”
is not necessarily a bad conversation. It is hard. So what? Lots of things are
hard. The unfortunate thing we face in today’s society is that it is easy for many to avoid the hard conversation. We can turn to social media or a
myriad of other distractions to see the world the way we want to see the world.
Makes it really easy for us to avoid the work we so desperately need to do. Work
that helps us to step into these hard conversations.
In any event, I have been
reading “The Good Struggle: Responsible Leadership in an Unforgiving World”
this past month and actually finished reading it as the SCOTUS decision came
down making it possible for everyone to marry the person they love. What an example of the “good struggle” in
action. In one chapter, the author asks us whether we have the right core
values when we enter these struggles. Quite often it is easy to lose track of
our core values and start to defend our need to be “right” instead of our need
to learn.
LeaderShape’s vision of the
world is just, caring, and thriving. I think this good struggle has helped us
get a little closer to a just, caring, thriving world. Unfortunately, in my
opinion, we still have avoided the conversation. The argument may have played out in D.C., but the argument,
or rather the conversation, still needs to happen all over the world. Part of
winning elections or winning decisions like that is to recognize
that we still need each other regardless of how stupid we make think someone
else is. The hard work is not finished when you
reach 51% of the vote or come to a 5-4 decision. The hard work is in the need
to continue to provide space for learning, caring, disagreement, and understanding.
Of course this past month has
had plenty of examples of conversations we don’t really want to have or just
haven’t had like the confederate flag flying over government buildings…still.
The difficult part of living in a “winner takes all world” is that it creates a constant contest for
the next election, vote, or decision. Rather
than trying to understand and explain our beliefs, we focus on winning. In
this struggle to articulate our beliefs and our viewpoints, we often succumb to
the sound bite, the meme, or the headline missing the nuance, the pain, the
joy, and the distrust.
Being a leader is not about
doing a victory dance. As leaders, do we ever reach the finish line? Do we ever
stop wanting to change the world, make it a better place to live for those that
are struggling, or helping someone else do the same? Of course not. Responsible
leadership is about being gracious and seeing the big picture. It’s the desire to understand trumping the
compulsion to win.
Some amazing conversations
have been happening…let’s stay in the mess and keep the good struggle
going.
Paul
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