Quiet

I have recently fallen in love with quiet. With the fall approaching, I find myself outside more often enjoying the sunsets, the air, the trees, and the changes that are coming. However, this fall is different for a number of reasons, but one in particular...I am experiencing the quiet as not the absence of noise, but the welcoming of space. I have finally realized, I mean really got clear, that quiet is not "without", but quiet is "letting in." Over the past number of years, I have had a constant buzz in my head with all that comes my way during the day - family, work, personal goals, etc. The buzz was so loud that I didn't hear it. It blinded me into a false sense of security, a status quo, an acceptance of "that's just life." But, ah, I finally got it while sitting on my porch without my phone, without solving or fixing all of life's challenges in my head, without trying to run and hide from the buzz.

I let the quiet in.

With the quiet, I let in being raw, I let in being imperfect, I let in my inability to control my life or the lives of others. I let in Paul. By no means do I expect it to last, but I have tasted it. I have seen that quiet welcomes thoughts, feelings, ideas, and, yes, relaxation. Quiet is not a antidote, quiet is not the answer, quiet is a means to becoming more authentic. It is a way to be more raw, more aware, and more in touch with what I really want to do and who I really want to be.

I know I will be a better leader because of it.